Saturday, 04 July 2009
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Proof Positive that The Supreme Being is NOT a Woman
I don't want to say that its a man, or a thing, or a force, or whatever; but I can say without the shadow of a doubt that its not a "Goddess".
The proof?
It takes the average man 2 minutes from the onset of sexual activity to achieve orgasm.
It takes the average woman 20 minutes.
Do the math. Either the supreme being isn't a woman, or she's some kind of Margaret Thatcher-esque monstrosity that hates the idea of women having satisfying sex.
Sorry, wiccans.
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Comments (6)
Or, perhaps the Supreme Being is patient, and people should be, too.
Or, just maybe, sex isn't just about orgasms.
Besides, your conclusions as to the identity of the Divine are only
logical if you see God as some kind of "Architect" or something,
creating humanity and gender and sexuality with some kind of plan in mind. :P
Dare I ask what brought on this post?? Surely you realize that this
might be construed as some form of passive-agression towards me...
Cycle time between orgasms:
Male: Could be hours
Women: 30 seconds
.... :)
Oh geez, no, Wench! It had nothing to do with you, it was brought on by the season premiere of Penn & Teller's Bullshit (which was about "orgasms").
No passive-aggresion here; our sex has been nothing short of great.
Still, I'm just saying that if the divine was a goddess, she really screwed things for women as far as "likelihood of getting orgasms" is concerned. It requires, clearly, a very attentive partner, which is fine, but then she shouldn't also have made so many men not give a fuck whether their partner gets off too.
And Ryan: yes, that's a point, but again, if the men get off in 2 mins and the women in 20, you would think that a sensible deity would have done that "cycle time" exactly the opposite!
Shit, maybe the Christians are right and God really does hate sex!
You've never heard the joke about Adam and Eve in the garden?
God comes down and says, "Adam and Eve, since you've been behaving yourselves so far, I have two gifts for you."
He reaches into his bag. "First of all, I have--"
Before he can even pull his hand out, Adam is shoving forward, going "Me! Me! I want it!"
God continues "--the power to pee standing up."
Adam grabs it, psyched. "Yes!" He dances around in excitement.
God reaches into the bag again. "I guess that leaves you, Eve, with..."
"...multiple orgasms!"
It might be two minutes for you, and twenty minutes for any woman you're with, but these figures are not necessarily representative of the world as a whole.
I was wondering who'd be the first person immature enough to feel their manhood threatened by statistics on the average duration, thus implicitly declaring themselves to be mediocre in the process. I didn't really expect it to be you, Kyle.